![This is one of the biggest barriers to financial wellness—it’s ‘like an emotional glue trap,’ says financial psychologist](https://media.nbcbayarea.com/2024/08/108016417-1722883717365-gettyimages-1469232517-5s8a9356.jpeg?quality=85&strip=all&resize=320%2C180)
Everyone has their own money goals.
Some people want to live completely debt-free, whiles others are OK taking on a few mortgages in pursuit of a real estate empire. Plenty of people want to retire as soon as possible, whereas others are comfortable working until a more typical retirement age.
But regardless of what your ultimate money goals are, it's smart to aim for financial wellness along the way. That means you're managing your day-to-day expenses, making progress toward bigger goals and feeling confident about your financial future.
You may be wondering if having too much debt, not earning a high enough salary or other material factors will stand in your way. They might, but one of the biggest obstacles that holds individuals back from financial wellness has nothing to do with the numbers.
Rather, it's shame, says Brad Klontz, Psy.D, a financial psychologist and instructor in new online course Achieve Financial Wellness: Be Happier, Wealthier & More Financially Secure.
"People feel embarrassed," he says. "I think that's the biggest barrier [to financial wellness] — they don't want to think about it. They don't want to talk about it … there's a lot of shame around money."
Here's how shame can hold you back from financial wellness, plus a few tips to get past it and start chasing your money goals.
Money Report
'It just keeps people stuck'
If you can't admit that you need help in the first place, you may make the wrong moves or take no action at all to get closer to achieving your money goals.
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"Shame is like an emotional glue trap, and it just keeps people stuck," Klontz tells CNBC Make It. "Everyone already knows what they should do around money."
That's not to say everyone is a money expert. But in general, people know they should be saving for the future and spending less than they earn.
DON'T MISS: Achieve Financial Wellness: Be Happier, Wealthier & More Financially Secure
However, they're not necessarily doing that, Klontz says. The shame is stopping them from getting the help they need to make adjustments.
Someone on a low income may be struggling to make their student loan payments and feel ashamed they aren't making more money. But there's no shame in exploring options to lower your payments or getting career advice to increase your income.
On the other hand, someone who receives a big inheritance may have a lot of money, but not know the best way to invest it. Shame may stop them from seeking out a financial advisor or similar professional to help.
You don't need to become an expert in order to achieve financial wellness — but you have to start somewhere.
'Find somebody a step or two ahead of you'
It's OK to struggle with money shame. Working with a professional like a financial psychologist or regular therapist can help you get to the root of the issue and unpack how your personal history has affected your relationship with money.
If you've addressed your shame, but are unsure of the financial moves you should take next, a certified financial planner, money coach or other qualified money educator can help give you advice on how to proceed. That could mean coming up with a debt payoff strategy, learning more about investments and risk tolerance or other technical guidance.
Klontz also recommends finding financial inspiration that you can relate to, both in terms of your identity and the feasibility of following in their footsteps.
"If you're an immigrant to the U.S., find somebody who's immigrated and is living the life you want to live," he says. "I think it's really important, because one of the things it does is challenge that side [that says], 'It's impossible for me.'"
The person you look up to or get advice from doesn't have to be a millionaire or have an exceptional success story, he adds.
"Find somebody a step or two ahead of you and pick their brain," Klontz says.
That person may have a higher-level position and you want to mimic their career trajectory or they've bought a house and you're looking to stop renting. Anyone who shares similar goals and has started to accomplish them can be effective inspiration.
"[Ask], 'what would you tell somebody to do in my situation?'" Klontz says. From there, "accelerate your learning and be inspired about what's possible for you."
Want to stop worrying about money? Sign up for CNBC's new online course Achieve Financial Wellness: Be Happier, Wealthier & More Financially Secure. We'll teach you the psychology of money, how to manage your stress and create healthy habits, and simple ways to boost your savings, get out of debt and invest for the future. Start today and use code EARLYBIRD for an introductory discount of 30% off through September 2, 2024.
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