At a late-June happy hour in the shadow of One World Trade Center in New York, a group of single women gathered to toast the end of a multiday heat wave. Margarita-fueled convos began to drift into the lamentable state of modern dating — stories about ghosting, being stuck with a bill and the overall bad behavior of men.
Coming from jobs in consulting, biomedicine and education, most agreed they're looking for a relationship — but that what they aren’t looking for is a man in finance.
In fact, Dua Khan, 22, who works in the industry herself, cautioned against dating anyone wearing the telltale vest and khakis.
“They’re workaholics,” she said. “6’5 works and blue eyes work. Trust fund would be great. But not finance.”
She is, of course, referring to TikTok’s song of the summer, an anthem for women seeking rich men. “I’m looking for a man in finance / With a trust fund / 6’5 / Blue eyes,” the lyrics go.
Turns out, the song doesn’t exactly capture the prevailing mood in 2024.
NBC News reported from what’s arguably the nation’s prime hunting ground for the very man the song describes — Lower Manhattan’s Financial District, the home of Goldman Sachs, countless films about corporate scandal and of course, literal Wall Street.
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At the watering holes around these mega banks, we spoke to about a dozen women who gave us the bottom line: They’re not necessarily looking for the finance guy. Though they wouldn’t mind someone who picks up the bill, and then some.
The catchy “Man in finance” tune fits the internet’s current relationship discourse like a tailored jacket.
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The song dredges up tensions about money and dating at a time when gender roles are constantly in flux, dating is expensive, women say they’re tired of compromising, and app fatigue is standing in the way of personal connection.
‘Finance bros’ are boring, women say
“Man in finance” was first posted as a 19-second TikTok video in April by creator Megan Boni, a 27-year-old from New York. It’s since gotten over 50 million views, been remixed by DJ and producer David Guetta, and earned Boni a record deal.
But TikTok’s obsession with “Man in finance” has transcended the original video. Other creators have weighed in with tips on how to find this elusive finance, trust fund, 6’5, blue-eyed man.
One graduate of Harvard Business School even made a video ranking the various finance jobs according to income, free time and likability. (Venture capital and private equity workers fall at the top of the list, she said, though they will likely mansplain constantly.)
In some major cities, single women have been seen taking to the streets, holding up cardboard signs with the song’s lyrics and beckoning men who match its description.
But despite the phenomenon that she created, Boni said that she, herself, isn’t actually looking for a man in finance.
“I’m looking for someone with a dad-bod who understands my humor, lets me shine a little and balances me out,” she said.
Financial District women concur. Surrounded every day by Wall Street bros, they say they can be summed up by a tailored suit, a backpack, an ego, and an air of hurriedness.
But their ultimate sin: men in finance are boring, young women said.
“They’re like a warm glass of water, and I’d rather have something with a little more sparkle in it,” said Stella Mannell, 22. “They dress the same, you can always spot one… I’d rather have someone who’s fun and vibrant and exciting than someone who has a lot of money. I’d rather go on a date to McDonald’s than go to The Polo Bar with a super lame guy.”
Dothan Bar, 21, who works as an intern at an investment bank, said his co-workers are aware of social media’s collective stereotypes and the fascination with them — and they sometimes lean into the aesthetic to get girls.
“They take care of themselves very well,” he said. “It’s a job that shows a lot about your character and your ambition. … I know people who work 100-hour weeks in finance.”
He’s not a fan, he said, and he’s switching to tech after college.
‘Sprinkle Sprinkle’ and a return to traditional gender roles for some
Though its lyrics have been beaten to death across social media platforms, experts say the “man in finance” message captures a rising sentiment among single women online: Life is expensive and exhausting, and they want a man that can alleviate some of that burden, not add to it.
“Man in finance” follows radical TikTok relationship guidance, like that of the “Sprinkle Sprinkle” movement, spearheaded by controversial creator SheraSeven. Shera advises the women who follow her to raise the bar drastically and only date men who bring enough to the table.
“Pay, take me shopping, impress me, open doors,” she said in one viral video. “If you ain’t about that, keep moving.”
She ends each video with the now-iconic line “sprinkle sprinkle.”
They’re like a warm glass of water, and I’d rather have something with a little more sparkle in it.
STELLA MANNELL, 22, ON FINANCE BROS
SheraSeven’s videos have become a bible for many women online who say they’re tired of dealing with men who ghost them, don’t value them enough or don’t bring an adequate amount of money to the table.
Other young women who’ve seemingly bested this problem make TikTok content romanticizing their lives as “stay-at-home girlfriends” of rich men. As they float through days filled with matcha lattes, Pilates classes and light vacuuming, the huddled masses look on, experts said.
“The whole idea of a softer life comes into play; having that slower pace of doing hobbies and things that you enjoy,” dating coach and “City of Dating” columnist Stevie Bowen said.
Some say these types of accounts are anti-feminist while others say they’re a lighthearted attempt at empowering women who have long needed and deserved to raise their standards.
“We’re living in a time of great stress and a lot of financial uncertainty,” said Mary Chayko, director of Rutgers University’s gender and media studies program. “People are looking for answers, and for some people, this just may be attractive. They may think, ‘This is going to solve some of my problems.’”
Annabelle Boland, 21, a student, hopes to be a teacher one day, and she’s acutely aware of the financial struggles that might lie ahead. She sees a rich man as a possible caveat.
“I’m looking for a man that can take care of me, buy me nice things,” she said. “I would have my teaching job, but I wouldn’t have to worry about the money part of it. I could enjoy being a teacher and not worry about the $40,000 I’m getting paid a year.”
Women, already at an economic disadvantage relative to men, feel that modern life has doubled the expectations for them, she said. They’ve been raised and taught to aspire to a career, but their male counterparts haven’t been similarly trained as homemakers.
People are looking for answers, and for some, this may be attractive. They may think, ‘This is going to solve some of my problems.’
MARY CHAYKO, PROFESSOR, ON WOMEN SEEKING RICH MEN
“Women have more of these types of dual responsibilities than men do, and it’s quite a lot of pressure,” Chayko said. “The so-called traditional times might seem a little bit simpler.”
But Chayko said it’s important to remember that the old days, when men provided, weren’t necessarily favorable to their wives.
“It concerns me that a woman might consider something like this in lieu of getting a job or fulfilling herself in another more productive way,” she said. “A job gives women, and everyone, a source of income, a sense of independence, future security, especially if their marriage ends.”
With all the attention she’s gotten since her “Man in finance” video, Boni has quit her day job in sales, she told NBC News Now. Her audience has made it so that she can support herself while doing the job that she actually wants to do.
“They’re giving me the reassurance I needed to be my own ‘man in finance,’” she said.
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